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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28587591">Nightmares Take Flight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/backyard_faerie/pseuds/backyard_faerie'>backyard_faerie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Daggers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lamp - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Seizures, Self-Depricating Thoughts, Swords, Winged Anxiety | Virgil Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:09:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,385</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28587591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/backyard_faerie/pseuds/backyard_faerie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Virgil has a secret. Nothing too deep or dark, but it's something he definitely doesn't want the others to know about. Virgil has wings. And he'll never let them know he does.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nightmares Take Flight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil paced his room. He’d done it so often he was surprised he hadn’t worn a hole in the floor. The anxious side had been feeling way more like his trait recently. That is, he’d been feeling especially worrisome. Several panic attacks had come onto him in the past week and he had no clue exactly why he felt that way.</p>
<p>His wings fluttered as he walked. Yes, his wings. They settled softly on his back as he sat down at his vanity. He wore a magenta tank top which his black and purple speckled wings poked out of. He picked up his wave brush and started to run it through his feathers. Trinkets and trash often got stuck in his wings so he had to groom them often to get them out. Today he found an old sticky note, a scrap of fabric, and an earring. He assumed the earring was Roman’s and he made a mental note to return it to him. The other sides didn’t know about his wings, so he’d have to hide his wings before he went to see Roman. He hoped that they would never find out, and as of now, they hadn’t. If they thought he was some kind of monster then they would send him back to the dark sides, steal his precious wings, or worse, kill him. He didn’t know where sides went when they died (or if they could) and he didn’t intend to find out.</p>
<p>It was getting harder and harder to keep his secret recently. Surrounding the source area of his wings were small runes that traced his back and shoulders. They’d been growing more now and they had started to creep up his arms. He knew Janus could understand them. He’d winced at Virgil’s back the first time he’d seen them and Virgil recalled what he’d said.</p>
<p> “Do you say this about yourself?” He’d sounded concerned and Virgil thought he’d heard a hint of disgust in his voice. Virgil had assumed that they were the bad thoughts he had about himself. All the more reason to hide them from the other sides. He didn’t want them trying to fix something that couldn’t be undone. </p>
<p>And he had tried to undo it. He’d scrubbed and scrubbed at them with soap, tried to cover them with foundation, and even done a meditation sort of process with Janus to get rid of his bad thoughts. It hadn’t worked. His bad thoughts made him who he was. That’s what he was. Anxiety. </p>
<p>His wings showed he wasn’t meant to be with the light sides. He wasn’t meant to help. But he tried to. He had to protect Thomas even though the others didn’t exactly see eye to eye with him all the time. </p>
<p>He was brushing through his left-wing when he heard a knock on the door. </p>
<p>Virgil’s wings extended, startled. The brush flung from his hand when he jumped from his seat.</p>
<p>“Kiddo? You okay in there?” Patton’s voice sounded from the hall.</p>
<p>“Gimme a moment!” Virgil folded in his wings, which flattened nicely against his back. He pulled on his jacket and opened the door. </p>
<p>“Hey, Pat.”</p>
<p>“Hello! I was wondering if you would join us for movie night tonight?” Patton smiled brightly.</p>
<p>Virgil hadn’t been to a movie night since they’d watched Frozen together. He’d caused such a ruckus last time he figured it was best if he didn’t come anymore. Virgil still missed the nights they spent together, Patton making stupid puns, Logan hating those stupid puns, and Roman making awful commentaries that always made Virgil laugh. And the worst part was that they’d persisted in inviting him. Usually, it was Roman’s job to come to get the sides for gatherings. He’d reluctantly come to Virgil’s door every Saturday evening and Virgil had always declined (also a bit reluctantly, though Roman hadn’t seemed to notice). He wanted to be there, but he knew the other sides did it out of pity and conditional inclusion and not unconditional love. But this was different. This was Patton.</p>
<p>He stared into Patton’s big brown puppy dog eyes and sighed. </p>
<p>“I’ll come.”</p>
<p>“Yay!” Patton squealed. “We have a surprise for you!”</p>
<p>Patton grabbed Virgil by the wrist and pulled him down the hall to the common area. Logan sat in an armchair sipping his coffee and reading a book. Roman was on the floor humming a show tune while he scrolled through his phone. Roman looked up and raised an eyebrow at Virgil and Patton in the doorway.</p>
<p>“Finally decided to bring your dark and stormy presence down to the living room?” He snarked.</p>
<p>“Real funny.”</p>
<p>Virgil perched himself on top of the couch cushions, pressing his back against the wall. The muscles in his wings stretched uncomfortably in his jacket.</p>
<p>Patton stood in front of the TV, his hands clasped in front of him, smiling. </p>
<p>“I and Roman have a surprise for you! We made you both pajamas!”</p>
<p>So that’s why they’d had Patton get him from his room. Logan set his book down and looked up. Roman pointed two fingers at Logan and in a flash the black polo and indigo tie he normally wore turned into a navy blue tank top with an imitation tie printed on it and black pajama pants with his symbol scattered on them.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Roman. I presume we can get onto the movie now?”</p>
<p>Roman laughed. </p>
<p>“Eager, aren’t we, Specs! I haven’t even done Patton and Virgil!” He pointed at Patton with flare and Pat’s usual dad attire transformed into a soft blue shirt, some fleece pants with paw prints, and a fluffy cat blanket cloak with a hood on the top. Patton squealed in excitement. </p>
<p>“Do me!” Roman gestured excitedly outward towards Patton.</p>
<p>“Alright!” Patton shot a finger gun at Roman’s attire and it transformed into an onesie imitating his usual royal costume.</p>
<p>“How fashionable!” Roman pulled his onesie hood up revealing a felt crown adorning the top.</p>
<p>Virgil took notice of the other’s sets of pajamas and feared for his life. If he got anything like Logan’s then his wings would be seen for sure. If he got a cloak blanket like Patton he could discreetly tuck his wings behind his back as he was doing right now, but his runes would still be on display for all to see. As he worried about his pajama set, he could feel the skin around his upper arms burning. The pain started to creep towards his forearms. He knew this was how it felt to undertake more runes but it hurt nevertheless. He squeezed his arms and tensed up as if that would help the pain recede. He prayed for an onesie.</p>
<p>“Virgil? You alright?” The princely figure looked at him with concern. Virgil noticed that all eyes were on him.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, just... anxious. Per usual.”</p>
<p>“Aw, kiddo, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!” Patton’s soft voice was laced with worry among other things.</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s fine. I want to be here.”</p>
<p>The others looked mildly surprised at his comment. Roman shrugged.</p>
<p>“Let’s get on with it then!” He announced, pointing a finger at Virgil. His purple hoodie transformed into an MCR tank top and sweatpants. Virgil’s wings were extended a few feet out and his runes looked clear as day. Oh, dear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Logan looked an unworldly amount of confused and curious. His mouth hung slightly open and he cocked his head to one side involuntarily. Roman’s eyes were narrowed and he had a look on his face that Virgil had seen before when he faced off with his brother. Patton gasped and ran over to him, grabbing his wings to look at them. They’d been in his jacket for so long that the touch hurt them. He hissed and kicked Patton away instinctively, immediately regretting it and feeling more guilty than he had in his entire life. Roman launched himself up at Virgil, sword at the ready. </p>
<p>“Don’t touch Patton, you villain!” Roman lifted his sword to strike. Virgil cowered in the corner of the room, back against the wall. His wings trembled and he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the impact. It never came. Virgil opened his eyes to see Logan restraining the prince, eyes concerned as he looked over his runes.</p>
<p>“Do you say this about yourself?” Logan questioned. He’d heard that before.</p>
<p>“Y-you can read them?” A demonic tone shone through his quiet voice.</p>
<p>“Let me at the monster! He kicked Pat!” Roman struggled in Logan’s grip, but the logical side was surprisingly strong. Next to him, Patton stared worriedly at the anxious side, gripping his side at the same time. What had he done?</p>
<p>Roman’s sword was a few inches from Virgil’s throat and Virgil had instinctively summoned two violet daggers into either hand.</p>
<p>“Let me at him, Lo! He’s armed!”</p>
<p>Virgil took notice of the knives for the first time and dropped them on impulse. Screw his fight or flight reflex. The other side’s eyes widened as Virgil felt burning in his arms. Runes were appearing on his arms rapidly, one ancient symbol after the other. His body spasmed with the pain. He let out a cry of anguish and gripped his arms, wings folding over him like a protective blanket. </p>
<p>“What’s happening? Lo, what’s happening to him? What are those markings all over him?” Patton tried to get closer but Roman spoke up.</p>
<p>“Stay back, Pat.”</p>
<p>Virgil’s body seemed to break as it went limp at Roman’s tone.</p>
<p>“No, Patton. Go help him.” Logan stared daggers into Roman’s skull.</p>
<p>Patton rushed over at Logan’s confirmation. He carefully pulled back Virgil’s wings to find him unconscious in his protective shield of feathers. Pat gasped at the sight.</p>
<p>“Logan… is he...”</p>
<p>Logan strode over, holding up a hand warning Roman to stay where he was. He looked over Virgil curiously. </p>
<p>“I believe the most probable diagnosis would be a seizure. Patton, set him on his side on the floor. Roman, move the coffee table.”</p>
<p>Roman reluctantly pushed the table out of the way and Patton lifted Virgil off the couch and onto the carpet. Logan walked in with a damp tea towel. Patton was knelt next to Virgil, looking over his runes worriedly.</p>
<p>“Can you read these?” Pat looked up at Logan.</p>
<p>Logan hesitated for a moment as Roman hopped up to sit on the top of the couch and survey the room.</p>
<p>“Yes, I can. It’s written in a sort of language of thoughts. If you took what flows through your mind every day and put it on paper, it would form markings like this.” Logan sat down next to Patton to read the runes again. Patton looked over Logan’s face. He seemed concerned and a bit disturbed.</p>
<p>“Can you… tell me what it says?”</p>
<p>Logan looked back down with a pitying expression. </p>
<p>“I’m not sure you would like to know. The writing is many of Virgil’s self-deprecating thoughts.”</p>
<p>Patton cautiously laid a finger on Virgil’s forearm, tracing the runes carefully. Virgil shifted under the touch and Patton pulled away at the movement. Virgil’s eyes flickered open.</p>
<p>Virgil could hear fuzzy voices above him. </p>
<p>“-Virgil’s self-deprecating thoughts.” A cool voice sounded above him. Sounds like Logan, he thought. Virgil felt a heat trace his runes. It highly rivaled the cold of his own body. Goodness, he was so cold. He carefully opened his eyes, almost nervous to see the reaction of the other sides. The moments in which he had shown his wings were a blur of panic and fear. Roman had looked completely ready to hurt him. It was reasonably frightening. </p>
<p>Logan reached a hand up to Virgil’s face, keeping it a few inches from his cheek. </p>
<p>“Lo?” Virgil blinked up at the teacher and held a hand to his head. He pushed another hand behind him to sit up, an action intercepted by his feathery appendages laid out beneath him. Virgil paused to process for a moment, and immediately shot up and backed away from the Heart and Mind. Logan and Patton held out their hands in an attempt to calm him. Virgil folded in his wings and scrambled into the back of the couch, where Roman pinned Virgil’s arms to his side in a steady grip. </p>
<p>Virgil gave a cry as he thrashed in Roman’s hold.</p>
<p>“Let me go! Please don’t hurt me!” Virgil scrabbled at Roman’s hands and involuntarily flailed his wings about in a panic. Roman released him immediately and cried out to him.</p>
<p>“V, we’re not attempting to hurt you! Let us help you!”</p>
<p>Virgil fluttered over to his corner on the stairs and violently folded his wings in onto himself. </p>
<p>“Don’t!” Virgil shouted, muffled by the shield of feathers he’d put up. “Don’t touch me! Please, don’t hurt me!”</p>
<p>Patton rushed toward Virgil, only pulling back when he realized the inevitable consequences of his actions if he made a premature movement.</p>
<p>“Virge, we promise we don’t want to hurt you. I swear on my life.”</p>
<p>Logan raised a finger up. “Technically, we are unsure yet if sides truly have liv- not a good time?” Roman shook his head vigorously. </p>
<p>Roman stood and very slowly walked past Patton and carefully sat next to his feathered friend, taking his time so the other could push away whenever he needed. Roman delicately set a hand on Virgil’s back. Virgil edged away at first but then calmed under Roman’s warmth.</p>
<p>“V, I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you to make you feel like this. Now, and in the past. But I’ll try to be okay, for you. I’ll help you.”</p>
<p>Virgil very slowly pulled his wings in behind him. He looked up at Roman. Roman stared back hopefully. To the other sides’ surprise, Virgil leaped into Roman’s arms, tears leaking from his eyes. The other side ran to the pair covering them in hugs and kisses and words so soft Virgil felt like he was melting. A wave of relief settled over him, one that sank down inside his heart.</p>
<p>Roman looked over to the fluffy-winged, giggling mess letting Logan ruffle his hair playfully. He could see past the clouded anxiety in Virgil’s violet eyes, and beneath the scared, worried exterior, Roman saw a flower unfold into bloom.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I once again don't know how to put tabs in my format :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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